Finding My Song

“The LORD your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”     -Zephaniah 3:17

One of the things I learned early on in my crazy life was this: I had lost my song and didn't even know it.  Both literally and spiritually.  I was a busy mom of 3, trying to stay on top of things, and I had begun to listen to more talk radio than music.  Please do not think I’m saying there is anything wrong with talk radio.  That’s not my point.  My point is that music took a back seat.  And, here’s why that is significant - because music ties our heart and soul to our understanding and purpose.  OK, what I mean is, music brings to life the fire in our belly for what matters to us.  Think about it.  When you were young, what music did you listen to?  And how did it make you feel?  I remember singing James Ingram love songs and dreaming of Mr. Right.  Or singing “We Are the Champions!”  at the end of a hard-fought basketball victory.  Anyone relate?

So, back to my crazy life, I had lost my song.  I had lost the heart connection to the One who was supposed to matter most to me.  And, it’s interesting.  When my world fell apart, music was what began to wake me up and help me learn how to feel again.  I started listening to Jeremy Camp’s CD, Carried Me, the Worship Project. I’m surprised I didn't wear the thing out!  I listened to it in the van as loud as it would go, singing at the top of my lungs.  Sometimes, crying through the lyrics, always picturing His healing touch.  (Note: this was only when I was by myself.  I didn't want to freak out my boys! )

The first song on the CD is I Will Trust In You, and the first verse says…

When I can't see You I know You're there
When I can't feel You I will not fear
I will trust in You and I will not be afraid.
When the battle is close at hand
Though You're with me and help me stand
I will trust in You and I will not be afraid.

Jeremy’s music, lyrics, and sound began to awaken my soul, to reach to the deepest part of my hurt and began to heal.  I began to realize that Father was rejoicing over me with singing.  It wasn’t really Jeremy; it was Father using his songs.  I began to hear and feel worship in a way I had never experienced it.  Before, I sang what I wanted to sing and I listened to what I wanted to listen to.  But, now, I sing in response to who He is and what He’s done for me.

Now, there is lots of great music out there.  Jeremy Camp may not have the song or voice that Father will use to heal your heart.  But, I encourage you to ask Him to lead you to the song He wants to sing over you.  Jesus came to heal our broken hearts.  He knows just what we need.