Girlfriends

(Warning: this is a long post.  Pour a hot cup of coffee before you start…)

I said in the last post that I have never doubted that my Heavenly Father is with me.  And, honestly, I can’t remember a time that I thought He left me.  Now, there were times that I wanted Him to physically pick me up and hug me, wipe away the tears and assure me that everything was going to be OK.

And, as I look back, I see that He did and still does.  It was just different than I expected.  From the very first night, He was physically with me, holding me, loving on me, helping me find my way… through my girlfriends.

So, I want to tell you about some of the precious friends He brought to me, especially in those first days when my world seemed to be completely out of control.  I am a strong person, full of life and opinion, and always heading somewhere.  But, as my perfect world, let’s say, blew up, I felt more like a fragile sparrow, not sure where to go or what to do.  I realized that I was in desperate need of forgiveness and restoration and healing.  I needed to learn how to depend on my Heavenly Father for absolutely everything.  I love how Father is already meeting our needs even before we know how to ask for it!

That very first night, when I was in shock, one sweet friend came over in the middle of the night and sat with me on my front porch for over an hour, just holding me and listening to me talk incoherently.  She loved on me and cried with me and although she couldn't change anything about my circumstances, she experienced that night with me.  And she is a part of my healing.  She is still one of my best friends today.  Our schedules are busy with 6 kids between us, so we don’t get to hang out as often as I’d like, but she will always have a special place in my heart because of that night.

Then, there are the two girlfriends who began taking me to lunch or dinner or coffee every month.  We have rarely missed a month in over 9 years now.  They are friends who studied God’s Word with me years before and Father has used these two precious sisters to help me remember that I matter.  When we get together, we talk about our families, the struggles of raising our kids and watching our parents get older.  We laugh, we cry, we eat (yes, food is always involved!)  For those moments, I can leave my world of responsibility and requirements, of “to do” lists and appointments, and I can enjoy relaxing with these two who know (almost) all of my secrets, and love me anyway!

If you know me well, you know that I hate to exercise.  I will avoid anything that looks like exercise, but wouldn't you know, Father sent 2 girlfriends to encourage me to walk with them at the gym.  So, I began meeting them 3 days a week to walk.  I had no idea that all of these girlfriends were helping me put my life back together, but they were most definitely Father’s hands and feet and voice of love and assurance that He was restoring all things. 

The list could go on, and I’m sure I’ll share more about my girlfriends later, but for now I want to end with the story of one movie night.  Two ladies from church, who I had always admired and looked up to invited me to see a movie.  So, I was going to pick them up, since they had matured past minivans and we couldn't all fit in either of their cars.  Here’s what I didn't know.  When I pulled up to the house and they started to jump in, I realized that my 3-year old had not eaten his iced sugar cookie, but smeared it all over the seat.  And, I’m not known for the cleanliness of my van anyway.  We practically live in it and eat lots of meals in it.  So, as my friend opened the van door, she was quite horrified to see how I really live!  And worse, she had to sit in the iced sugar cookie seat.  I was so embarrassed, and I frantically grabbed a wipee and began cleaning the seat, explaining my apologizes for not checking the back seat earlier.  (At this point in life, they didn't know the real me or the messiness of my life, van included!)  But, she was so kind and got in and off we went.  I remember that the movie was not at all what we expected it to be, yet it was exactly what I needed that night.  These two ladies are now a part of my weekly bible study.  I am privileged to do life with them now, and they are fully aware of what a mess I am! 

I learned a few weeks after our movie night that my friend who so graciously got in my filthy van and sat in the cookie seat is a complete neat freak!  And, I love to remember that night and laugh about what all she had to overcome to let herself not only look at that mess, but actually get into it with me.  And, this is the point of this whole post: 

True girlfriends are the ones that take the time to get into your messy lives and experience them with you.  They are the ones that laugh with you and cry with you and help you remember that you matter not just to them, but to your Heavenly Father.  They are the ones who encourage you to take care of yourself, the ones who make you eat your veggies and drink water.  They don’t change your circumstances, but they are Father’s way of showing you that He is here.  And His love will never leave you.   True girlfriends bless us by pointing us to Father in the simplest and most profound ways.

If you are living in a dark place, trying to figure out what to do, I am praying that Father will use your girlfriends to help you find your way.  If you are a girlfriend who knows someone hurting and you aren't sure how to connect.  First PRAY for them.  Then, just reach out to them.  You don’t have to know what to say to fix it.  You probably can’t do or say anything that CAN fix it.  But, you can get in the van, and who knows?  You might even find a cookie to share along the way!

Father, as I remember the girlfriends you have placed in my life, I am overwhelmed with gratitude!  You are such a loving Father who is actively involved in the lives of Your children.  Please help my sisters and brothers to know that You are working in their circumstances, too.  Help them to be the friend that You want them to be, and enable them to enjoy the friendships You have given them.  Give me the grace to be the friend that I need to be.  And, help us to always point our friends to You.