He's different

OK, here’s where I ended up yesterday, so I had to share!  In Sunday School, we are going through the Gospel Project and this week’s lesson was on the wisdom literature.  Well, let me back up a little further.  This year, Father has really had me thinking about what it means to be HOLY.  And, basically, He’s showing me that HOLY is different.  There is NOTHING that compares to Him at all.  Nothing.  He is completely and totally in a category of His own.  His love is different.  His goodness is different.  His patience is different.  His justice is different.  His forgiveness is different.  His grace is different.  And, His wisdom is different.

So, this week, I've been trying to wrap my head around what it means to fear the LORD (since Solomon says this is the beginning of wisdom!).  And I've tried to put myself in a position to see the awful terror of His wrath, which I deserve, yet at the same time the awesome grace of His love, which He has freely given me, but which cost Him everything…

So, yesterday, I’m reading Psalm 63 and am realizing that a big part of my problem is that I let other less worthy things fill me rather than seeking and waiting on Him to reveal Himself to me.  And so I asked Him to show me what He wanted me to see of Him yesterday, and I found myself in Song of Songs, chapter 4.  I did an intense study of Song of Songs a few summers ago, so I was familiar with the passage, but this is what jumped out at me and grabbed by heart:

In verse 9, the bridegroom is talking to His bride and He says, “You have stolen my heart…”  He goes on to tell her that He is enraptured by her because she has proven through all the trials that she loves Him and is keeping her eyes on Him no matter what may come.  At the beginning of the song, she speaks of being attracted to His fragrance, but now she smells like Him and He notices.

   

And, I began to understand what  Holy Spirit was telling me -when you choose Jesus and you decide to trust Him no matter what may come, you become more like Him.  And, as the trials come, they come to purify you, to test you, and to make you more beautiful.  When you choose to obey Him and trust Him, and live differently like Him, OK here it is… YOU STEAL HIS HEART!  In other words, it’s a big deal to Him and He is completely given to you.  His heart is yours.  Now, this makes me stand in awe of His love…

What kind of God would look upon a selfish sinner like me, and choose to graciously forgive me, knowing that it would cost Him His very own Son?  What kind of God would love me and offer me a place in His family when He knows my very nature is to rebel and go my own way?  What kind of God would entrust me with mothering 3 precious young men when He is so much more equipped to do that than I am? 

A holy God. 

MY holy God!

Father, I am in awe of Your love.  I don’t understand why any of this would be worth it to you.  But, I have seen and heard and felt your love in ways that are undeniable.  I know that You love me.  I know that You chose me.  I know that You have a plan for me in Your story. Thank You for opening my understanding a little bit more to wisdom.   I want to live wisely.  I want to model wisdom for my boys.  I want to smell like You.  Help me.  I need You so desperately. I can’t do this without You.  I love You!